Thomas Merton on Dealing with Stress in Job Search

I grew up in a family that placed great emphasis on giving back to the community. The involvement by my parents in many different volunteer capacities, including leadership positions on various boards was a blue print for how I have chosen to live my life. I have always felt the need to use my gifts of talent, time and treasure to help make a difference in my local community. In fact, I believe that I have blogged about this before: here.

I am currently on the Advisory Board for the group Authentic Leadership in Cincinnati and will be working with the Business Development Group of Cincinnati's United Way organization, but the group that I wanted to bring up here in this space is the IHM Job Search Ministry, whose leadership board, I have recently joined. Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM) is one of the largest Catholic parishes in the archdioces of Cincinnati. This group is an off-shoot of the well-known Job Search Focus Group (JSFG) in Hyde Park (Cincinnati suburb). The goal of the group is to provide training, coaching and support to the many folks in the area who are in transition. Job search is more than a full time "work" process, but is also an emotional journey lined with worry, stress and self-doubt especially given the economic conditions in the world today.

The IHM group met last night, and our speaker was well known area psychiatrist, Dr. Buzz Auvil, who spoke on the topic of Stress. Just wanted to leave folks with a list of strategies that Buzz recommended to the group to help alleviate the overwhelming feelings that can occur during job search or during any type of life transition.

• Own the Stress-once you own it, you can control it!
• Take Care of Physical Needs: exercise, eating right
• Seek Support
• Take a Break
• Get to Know Yourself
• Learn Relaxation Techniques
• Spiritual Practice-prayer, kindness to others, meditation, spiritual reading

Buzz opened the session with a wonderful prayer from Thomas Merton that I wanted to share with you:

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

Image credit: http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/stress_city.jpg
Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

MEMORIES...........

MEMORIES...

I sat down this morning to review my vast collection of writing and turned to the pages from the year 2003. I found this wonderful essay about Mackenzie when she was just 6 years old and a first grader at IHM. I love it, but at the same time it makes me sad because it reminds me of her precociousness and her sheer brilliance in intelligence and how once again for the 7th year in a row she is bored in school and not challenged to the level of her abilities, despite being in all of the advanced programs that her school offers. She has always made straight As- and not your garden variety type of A, no the upper echelon As where the lowest grade is a 97% for any subject, with lots of 100s and 99s sprinkled in for good measure. She is a good standardized test taker as well, hitting the 99th percentile in several areas. Thank God that she has also been active in lots of sports and activities and music lessons and lots & lots & lots of friends. This keeps the loss on the academic end from being a gnawing feeling in the pit of her being. The really cool thing about Mac is that she is one of the nicest little girls one could ever meet- truly has a big heart. Anyway, this is starting to sound sappy so........... here is the essay from January of 2003:

To Speak or Not

Dear Mackenzie,
It will be interesting to see the person that you grow into. As a mere child, you are so astonishing. As a toddler, the thought-structure and complex sentences that came out of your mouth always gave me pause. I always wished that I had carried a pencil and pad of paper with me to capture your words. The few I could remember amidst my busy day, I would phone to Grandma leaving her long messages regaling your brilliance.
Most recently you were in the midst of the flu and 104 degree fever. You were due to be the greeter for the all school mass at Immaculate Heart of Mary; bringing the group to attention and giving an overview of the Gospel and how it relates to our lives today. It was three paragraphs long and filled with large 4 & 5 syllable words. Quite fitting for a precocious reader like you. The flurry of phone calls from your teacher, even while we were in the doctor’s office (the wonder of cell phones!) checking on your health; enquiring whether you could come to school just for mass. Mrs. Corey said, “Quite frankly, no one else is capable of doing it.” What an honor! We got the doctor’s clearance. The next morning, you felt awful, but were excited to be reading in front of the 700+ students and faculty. To my surprise, you processed in with the priest and altar servers at the beginning of mass instead of being seated with the other students who would be reading petitions later. Everyone came to attention when they heard your six-year-old voice. I will never forget that morning. You were magnificent! Your use of eye contact to connect with the room was uncanny I can still picture you in your navy Lands End uniform pants and your brightly striped Talbot’s sweater (you got the out of uniform break, since you weren’t officially in school that day). The teachers and other adults present were amazed at your prowess and many complimented you on your reading the next day when you returned to school. Your brother, seated near the ambo whispered “Great job” when you finished and turned to bow at the altar. I was proud of him for recognizing your accomplishment and giving you the thumbs up.

I remember being asked by my 5th grade teacher at St. Peter's to do a reading at our class mass, and being terrified to speak in front of a group. I recall asking Grandpa Ken to write a note to Mrs. Doherty to excuse me from the task at hand. I don’t think I got out of it, but I remember being very nervous, uncomfortable and quite terrified and I was 10 years old! You weren’t nervous one single bit. Public speaking will not be an obstacle for anything you wish to do in the future. Only time will tell which path your little feet will follow.

The Effect of Gasoline Prices on Church Festivals

Had a great time this weekend participating in a time-honored ritual of summer: the annual church festival. I worked the Saturday BBQ dinner at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Festival in Anderson. The food was great, but the crowds were thin. In fact, it seemed to me that the foot traffic throughout the festival weekend was on the light side. Friday and Saturday were quite hot, oppressive days but that never stopped people from turning out in earlier years. The BBQ dinner was served inside in the chilly confines of air-conditioned dining halls, and still no takers. I really think it is due to the domino effect of the economy. When your budget has to morph to include astronomical gas prices (like $4.09/gallon), then some things have to go. I'm betting a lot of the festival goers chose to eat dinner at home before coming to spend their hard earned money on entertainment- otherwise known as donations to the church.

In any event, I had a great time. Saw some friends who have been missing since late Spring and had a frozen Margarita or two to hold back the heat. Talk about the true meaning of a brain freeze!! I even met Jeff Cavens, in absentia (see picture), who will be back in person to give his Great Adventure Bible Study program at IHM on November 15th. If you notice, Jeff was smiling all night, despite the heat and the excess of BBQ in the kitchen.

Church festivals................gotta love em!!!