Escaping the Image of Me

Escaping the Image of Me

For years people have told you:

“You look just like her”

And while I don’t see the complete physical resemblance

Beyond similar hair and eye color,

I think what they were trying to do was to paint the feeling

That they had into words- the observation that our inner core, our essence is similar

Extroverted over-achievers with a flair for the dramatic and a love

Of being front and center

We have strong, independent personalities and value integrity and truthfulness

We are unflinchingly loyal,

Unless of course one has proven themselves to be lacking in the virtues we hold dear

Leaders

Thought provokers

Keeper of the peace

Risk takers (ok- we diverge here)

Brave hearts that seek to do what is right and not what is popular

Voracious readers of good content

Talented Writers

Gifted intellect


Lately you voice concerns about our similarities

And I ask, “Is there a reason why you don’t have positive feelings about being like me?

And you answer, “Because I feel like I am re-playing a movie role about your life”

Hazards of sharing journal entries of my life at your exact age….

And yes there are many, many similarities.

BUT there are differences that make you your own unique person

You are you and I am me

How lucky we are to have each other.

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2010

Mother/Daughter Time

Mackenzie & I fell asleep as I was reading the short story, Everyday Use, by Alice Walker to her. I'm sure the narrative will reappear in my dreams tonight. The plan was for us to discuss this particular piece of literary genre as she has a test on it tomorrow. Hopefully one can truly learn through sleep osmosis.

I have loved Alice Walker's work from the time before The Color Purple made such a big splash on the world. Reading about characters whose lives I can not even begin to comprehend has been incredibly enlightening.




Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2010

COURAGE

Interesting that just last night I returned to the topic of courage and this morning I find an email from my favorite poet and Zen Master, Joe Zarantello, owner of Loose Leaf Hollow, on the very same subject. I wrote a piece on courage a couple of years ago when I was experiencing something difficult in my life and my then 10 year old daughter pasted a copy of the poem on her Scrapbook room door (see door pic):

Courage is standing up for what you believe in the face of others who don’t share your same views. It is forging forward into the darkness because you know that you have to. Courage is putting on a smiling face in the center of tragedy because you know that you have to stand strong for others when you really just want to collapse on the floor and sob uncontrollably.

Courage is putting other’s needs before your own and believing that humankind will be better for your efforts. It is believing in yourself and actually becoming the person that God intrinsically calls you to be. If we all showed even an ounce of courage, imagine what a wonderful world this would truly be. There would be absolutely no need for the small, rotund man from Kansas with the big booming voice.

I was reading Courage aloud to her from its place on her locked door (she was mad at me for enforcing her bed-time and wanted to keep me from entering to tuck her in.) Halfway through, she opened the door and showing great courage, expressed her deep feelings on thinking that she was old enough to ante up her school night bed-time. We had a wonderful mother-daughter conversation and ended the night on a positive note. That poem has lasted on her door for 2 straight years, sharing space with many other important parts of her life, including her Twilight fascination! And as for the new bed time, we'll see............................


What does courage mean to YOU????


Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

MEMORIES...........

MEMORIES...

I sat down this morning to review my vast collection of writing and turned to the pages from the year 2003. I found this wonderful essay about Mackenzie when she was just 6 years old and a first grader at IHM. I love it, but at the same time it makes me sad because it reminds me of her precociousness and her sheer brilliance in intelligence and how once again for the 7th year in a row she is bored in school and not challenged to the level of her abilities, despite being in all of the advanced programs that her school offers. She has always made straight As- and not your garden variety type of A, no the upper echelon As where the lowest grade is a 97% for any subject, with lots of 100s and 99s sprinkled in for good measure. She is a good standardized test taker as well, hitting the 99th percentile in several areas. Thank God that she has also been active in lots of sports and activities and music lessons and lots & lots & lots of friends. This keeps the loss on the academic end from being a gnawing feeling in the pit of her being. The really cool thing about Mac is that she is one of the nicest little girls one could ever meet- truly has a big heart. Anyway, this is starting to sound sappy so........... here is the essay from January of 2003:

To Speak or Not

Dear Mackenzie,
It will be interesting to see the person that you grow into. As a mere child, you are so astonishing. As a toddler, the thought-structure and complex sentences that came out of your mouth always gave me pause. I always wished that I had carried a pencil and pad of paper with me to capture your words. The few I could remember amidst my busy day, I would phone to Grandma leaving her long messages regaling your brilliance.
Most recently you were in the midst of the flu and 104 degree fever. You were due to be the greeter for the all school mass at Immaculate Heart of Mary; bringing the group to attention and giving an overview of the Gospel and how it relates to our lives today. It was three paragraphs long and filled with large 4 & 5 syllable words. Quite fitting for a precocious reader like you. The flurry of phone calls from your teacher, even while we were in the doctor’s office (the wonder of cell phones!) checking on your health; enquiring whether you could come to school just for mass. Mrs. Corey said, “Quite frankly, no one else is capable of doing it.” What an honor! We got the doctor’s clearance. The next morning, you felt awful, but were excited to be reading in front of the 700+ students and faculty. To my surprise, you processed in with the priest and altar servers at the beginning of mass instead of being seated with the other students who would be reading petitions later. Everyone came to attention when they heard your six-year-old voice. I will never forget that morning. You were magnificent! Your use of eye contact to connect with the room was uncanny I can still picture you in your navy Lands End uniform pants and your brightly striped Talbot’s sweater (you got the out of uniform break, since you weren’t officially in school that day). The teachers and other adults present were amazed at your prowess and many complimented you on your reading the next day when you returned to school. Your brother, seated near the ambo whispered “Great job” when you finished and turned to bow at the altar. I was proud of him for recognizing your accomplishment and giving you the thumbs up.

I remember being asked by my 5th grade teacher at St. Peter's to do a reading at our class mass, and being terrified to speak in front of a group. I recall asking Grandpa Ken to write a note to Mrs. Doherty to excuse me from the task at hand. I don’t think I got out of it, but I remember being very nervous, uncomfortable and quite terrified and I was 10 years old! You weren’t nervous one single bit. Public speaking will not be an obstacle for anything you wish to do in the future. Only time will tell which path your little feet will follow.

TRUE BEAUTY INSIDE AND OUT

Mackenzie Unwritten

BY-PASSING THANKSGIVING...............

WHAT'S UP WITH THE SNOW??!!??


Snow flurries, Christmas music and crowded aisles at Kroger. What's up with that!!!!! I attempted to go grocery shopping at my local Kroger on Sunday afternoon and after cruising the parking lot for several minutes before finding a spot in East BFU, I managed to make it inside without being run over by the many cars going through the parking spot mating dance that I had just successfully mastered. There were very few shopping carts left, which was immediately a bad sign. The place was packed with people: so many that it was hard to maneuver through the aisles. As I approached my favorite part of the store, the pre-prepared, ready-to-heat gourmet food section, I noticed a Kroger employee cheerfully asking people to sign up for a free Thanksgiving Dinner Give-Away. The table behind her was expertly laid in complete Thanksgiving Fashion with a real Turkey and all the sides shimmering on fine china.

At this point I began to panic. I knew my heavy work load from last week was leaving lasting affects on my brain. I had completely lost a week of my life and the crowded store, the snow flurries, the Turkey Dinner give-away and that Christmas muzak sound track were all converging to let me know that I was totally unprepared for Thanksgiving to be in 4 days!!!!! What other reason could there be to explain what I was witnessing? This was surely the pre-Thanksgiving shopping panic that sets in every year.

While still standing in the same place in stressful amazement and angst, the pre-teen walks up with her "lunch": a slice of some crumb cake or other and a grande Mochachina- something from Starbucks. I tell her what I have discovered about Turkey day being next week and she looked at me with full Tween attitude and said, "Mom, you've been spending too much time on the internet, Thanksgiving is in two weeks!" I could feel the stress of not being ready for the big T-Day feast (hosted at our house this year) fall away from my shoulders and land in puddles on the floor below me. "Clean up in Aisle 5!!" I wanted to shout into the nearest microphone.

What is up with the shoppers, the weather (normal highs are supposed to be in the 50s for God's sake!) and the piped in Christmas music??? Even the radio stations have abandoned their tradition of beginning Carols on the day after Thanksgiving and are playing them NOW!!!!

I suppose the state of the economy is causing retailers to do everything in their creative genius power to tempt shoppers into spending their tightly held cash. They want to create a warm and comfortable atmosphere and they achieve this end by bringing the nostalgia and wonder of Christmas a little early.

Oh well, if you can't beat em, then slide a Christmas CD into your car player and join in the fun. Just don't forget the cranberry relish for the 27th of November.

FALL IN CINCINNATI = SPORTS!!!!

OUR FAMILY'S FAVORITE PAST-TIME: READING!!!!!!








IMAGES FROM THE WEEKEND:




ST. XAVIER VS. MOELLER H.S.









SPOOKY STUFF IN OUR YARD SOCCER CLUB TOURNAMENT


CYO BASKETBALL LEAGUE GAME VS. GA TEXTING IN BETWEEN SOCCER GAMES