Cycle of Life

Life is a never ending cycle: birth and death transform our world continuously. I say good bye today to my mom's only remaining sibling (of 8), Gertie Fontenot Jolivette Wilson and welcome the newest member, 36 hour old Peyton Elizabeth. We are given a short time on earth, our maxim should be to make a difference....



Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011-2012

Apocalypse

 

Frozen landscape

Dark, desolate

Sun absent in the sky 

Falling ash, ashen snow......

What would you do if there was an apocalypse and you were one of the few remaining on earth? How would your faith be tested? In the movie The Road based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel of the same title by  Cormac McCarthy, a man and his son find themselves in this scenario. The man’s wife has taken her own life unable to go on under the extreme conditions that they have been living under and hoping to create more of a chance of survival for the remaining two.  The movie follows the pair on the road to reach the southern coast to find warmth and possible life. Along the way their values are tested profoundly and the boy must make a herculean choice.  

What struck me the most was looking at the breakdown of society and the construction of a new order in which people were no longer valued for their humanity. To witness the savagery that people turned to in their desperation in order to survive was shocking.  It became a crowd mentality, where people acquiesced in order not to be on the outside: the ones attacked and ultimately eaten. There was a renegade leadership running rampant that followed the mantra of survival of the fittest and if you were outside of one of these groups, you literally were running for your life.

One image that continues to haunt me is the scene involving a loaded gun: their only means of protection. In this scene the father shows his little boy how to put the pistol in his mouth and aim upwards toward his brain for a quick and painless death.  The loaded gun that the father and son kept ultimately contained only one bullet and would be the saving grace to prevent the boy from a horrific end at the hands of the cannibalistic survivors. The father knew at this point that he was dying and would not be there to protect his son in the future. Such a tragic, tragic image. But within that image, there exists unconditional love.

Another theme that ran throughout the film and touched my core was that of trust. The boy asks a stranger at one point, “Are you one of the good guys?”. In a lawless and desperate society the role of good guy can flip on a dime. We can only trust our instincts and make a decision based on the information that we have at hand.

I suppose the answer to how you would handle being in a similar situation would depend upon your faith and your views of life, death and after-life. I hope we never see an apocalypse in a million lifetimes from now, but if we did, I know what I would do. 

Do you?

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011-2012

Life Is What You Make Of It

Dreamer, Believer, Passionate, Extrovert, Unconventional, Eclectic, Empathetic, Analytical, Gifted, Intelligent 

When I think about who I am deep inside, these are the words that come to mind. They are words that many people have used to describe me. I love people- I love knowing their stories and I love connecting with their souls. If I can touch just one person in my day, then I label it a success.  My greatest joy is to see someone achieve and to help them reach their goals.

I feel that I have led a highly successful life: wonderful career with Procter & Gamble, many community leadership positions, international travel,  published work including a book on social media and the launching of my own company, C3: Creating Connections Consulting, LLC. Despite all of the professional accomplishments, my greatest achievement is raising two wonderful children who are both amazingly intelligent and gifted and who will go on to change the world. 

Tomorrow marks my 24th wedding anniversary, and in today's world, that is probably a huge accomplishment as well. To me it seems like yesterday.  A friend on Facebook commented to my status update about the anniversary with a question:

"You and Glenn are both wonderful people. We've been blessed to have met you both. You are a great couple. I'm sure you have some words of wisdom in how to make it last for 24 years. Any you care to share? Or is it like hiring employees - try to pick the right one the first time?" 

I took some time to reflect on this question.  I think the biggest piece of advice would be to really know who you are marrying; in other words, spend some time deeply getting to know what their core values are and if they align with yours.  The person should truly be your best friend and communication should flow freely and often between you. I think you need to be partners and equals in the relationship sharing everything from duties to dollars, while still maintaining your own identity.  There will be tough times and changes along the way, but it is how you handle these circumstances that make all of the difference.

So 24 years have flown by and it truly feels like just yesterday that we were dancing at our wedding. And if I close my eyes and press the knob on my jewelry box, I can hear our song play and see us beautifully executing the dance steps we learned at Arthur Murray. Two Procter managers with MBAs and a dream.....

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011-2012

Escaping the Image of Me

Escaping the Image of Me

For years people have told you:

“You look just like her”

And while I don’t see the complete physical resemblance

Beyond similar hair and eye color,

I think what they were trying to do was to paint the feeling

That they had into words- the observation that our inner core, our essence is similar

Extroverted over-achievers with a flair for the dramatic and a love

Of being front and center

We have strong, independent personalities and value integrity and truthfulness

We are unflinchingly loyal,

Unless of course one has proven themselves to be lacking in the virtues we hold dear

Leaders

Thought provokers

Keeper of the peace

Risk takers (ok- we diverge here)

Brave hearts that seek to do what is right and not what is popular

Voracious readers of good content

Talented Writers

Gifted intellect


Lately you voice concerns about our similarities

And I ask, “Is there a reason why you don’t have positive feelings about being like me?

And you answer, “Because I feel like I am re-playing a movie role about your life”

Hazards of sharing journal entries of my life at your exact age….

And yes there are many, many similarities.

BUT there are differences that make you your own unique person

You are you and I am me

How lucky we are to have each other.

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2010

Mother/Daughter Time

Mackenzie & I fell asleep as I was reading the short story, Everyday Use, by Alice Walker to her. I'm sure the narrative will reappear in my dreams tonight. The plan was for us to discuss this particular piece of literary genre as she has a test on it tomorrow. Hopefully one can truly learn through sleep osmosis.

I have loved Alice Walker's work from the time before The Color Purple made such a big splash on the world. Reading about characters whose lives I can not even begin to comprehend has been incredibly enlightening.




Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2010

Memories Are a Powerful Thing to Lose

In an empty room gathering dust

Lies a hint of the past sprinkled with shards of the present

Rays of mental illumination try to pierce through the darkness

I see you there for a brief moment, thinking that my fears were only fears

But then another day dawns and you grasp at who I am

It becomes clear to me that you have been put on course with your destiny

One that I was so clearly aware of

It pains me to think that denial was part of the program

And that precious time was lost

Time that could have stemmed the tide

They say that we can’t truly know someone

Until we have walked a mile in their moccasins

Would I have chosen the same path to live my life

Hoping to dodge the silver bullet?

Or would I look at the genealogy and see the

Dark red arrows pointing at me……

I know this is the beginning, but it feels like the end

How can I lose such a strong person when

She is right in front of me

The mind is a powerful thing to lose…..

I love you Mom……

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2010

Resurrecting Memories....

Final days of 2009 are flying by
so fast that memories of you are fleeting
like the vibrant orange-red leaves of the Red Maple tree
that stands like a bastion before my front door
a flash of color in the sun light that falls to the ground
with the fickle twist of the wind,
relegating vibrancy back to the source of it's origin
until it stands alone, branches bare and spreading upwards
towards the cloudless blue sky which holds your essence


Life has gone on and yesterday seems like a million miles removed
And so you flash into the present only in the most random of ways:
a long lost poem
a tucked away letter
a chance photo on my screen saver slide show
your birthday popping up on my PDA
your voice from a saved message still able to be resurrected

You no longer exist, save within the pages of my mind
within the pages of my words
within the company that you helped name
but you have created a lasting effect on my life
and helped to form the woman that I am

For that I am grateful.
I wish you peace in whatever realm you are existing....

**********************************************
This one is for you- I will remember you always.






Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

It's an H1N1 World....

You know that life has shifted
and you have entered the other side of existence
when the late night owl that has always been you
needs to enter into conversation
any conversation, just to stay awake
in anticipation of a bus load of kids
back from an out-of-state field trip

If only I didn't have an early morning meeting
I could sleep in to make up for this loss
such a difference from five years ago, when I
existed on 3 to 4 hours of sleep

So much has changed
So much has changed me

Living anti-parallel lives now,
I remember when we lived for the conversation
any conversation
any time of day or night

The place between darkness and dawn
between separateness and being one
When time stood still and the world passed
by around us.

That was then, this is now.
Text message alerts me that the bus
is crossing the Ohio River
It's 1:00 a.m., do you know where your child is??
Mine is on a packed bus with H1N1
Lying in wait on every iTouch and cell phone surface.
I'm outta here- taking the hand sanitizer with me!



Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

Brotherhood of the Long Blue Line & The Social Media Revolution

Social Media can start a revolution or spread a message rapidly in the same amount of time. Upon hearing the news that St. Xavier Junior Kevin Le succumbed to his injuries yesterday afternoon, the cell phones started texting and the Facebook pages started updating all over Cincinnati as Kevin's Bomber Brothers began to organize a way to honor Kevin's memory.

I first heard the organizational news when my son walked into my office last night and said that he was looking for his dress pants because the boys at St. Xavier high school had made the decision to all wear a dress shirt and tie to school in memory of Kevin. Facebook Group pages quickly sprang up and students left the most heartfelt messages for their fallen brother. Poetry and song lyrics mixed with memories and messages for Kevin in update after update.

Just got in from doing the Soc Med Biz thing and received this letter from St. Xavier's principal about what the boys did to organize themselves into a revolution of brotherhood and caring. This is only the beginning- I surmise that the first home football game tonight holds even more wondrous surprises. This is a school where the boys are truly taught to be "Men For Others" and today they were Men For One Of Their Own: Kevin Le- who will always be a member of the Long Blue Line.

Principal’s Weekly

September 18, 2009

"Hello St. Xavier Parents,

As you learned from yesterday’s phone call from Fr. Tim Howe and have undoubtedly seen covered in the media today, the St. Xavier family is dealing with a devastating loss. Junior Kevin Le’s mother Diane informed the school Kevin was declared brain dead yesterday afternoon. We will continue to keep Kevin and his family in our prayers as our attention turns to the care and well being of the immediate St. Xavier family today and in the days ahead. As ever, your sons are our first priority. Today we have prayed with them, provided counselors for those who need them, and shared stories of Kevin and the times he shared with his friends. We’ve celebrated a Mass in Kevin’s honor, where the Psalm reminded us, “The Lord is my shepherd, nothing shall I want.” We are in God’s hands, and I can’t think of a better place to be in such a challenging time. I have been deeply impressed by the ways in which your sons have demonstrated a brotherhood of caring for Kevin and his family and for one another today. On their own they decided to wear ties as a sign of solidarity. On their own they asked for the regular lunch-time Mass to be moved from the chapel to the larger space of the gym and then filled all of the bleachers. Together they are showing us that they know how to be God’s hands for each other and for Kevin and his family. Please continue to pray for Kevin and his family.

A number of people have asked about how to help the Le family financially. The Le family has set up the Kevin Le Fund at Fifth Third Bank. Donations can be mailed or taken to any branch of Fifth Third Bank."

President's letter credit: http://www.stxavier.org/s/106/index.aspx

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

The Deepest Sadness One Can Endure

The greatest sadness on earth has descended on a family. The worst fear a parent can ever have: that of losing a child, has come to fruition for a local family. Imagine that you make it through the early worries:

• the first time they ride the school bus
• the first sleep over at a friend's house
• the first overnight summer camp
• the first time they take up a contact sport as a young child
• the first time they take the car out on their own

And then your talented 16 year old, honor-roll son is walking along the road for an after-school job. A job that probably helps to pay for expenses at his large Jesuit boys' high school. A school where he is loved by many and participates on the wrestling team as well as the audition-only, renowned singing group, the X Men. Perhaps he is thinking about homework or maybe about an upcoming performance as he walks slowly to his destination.

In a split second, a middle-aged woman runs a red light going 50 miles an hour and slams into the young man. In that small amount of time, a life is compromised; a destiny changed. His life hangs in the balance as he lays in a coma at University Hospital for nine days, most of his organs massively affected by the impact.

The school community prays for him daily. And then the phone call comes. He has been pronounced officially brain dead. A mother has lost a son, two brothers have lost their middle brother and his class mates have lost a dear friend. My heart continues to ache hours after I received the phone call from St. Xavier stating that Kevin Le had died this afternoon. I sobbed for Kevin and the injustice of it all.

I am a mother with a son close to Kevin's age and I know that news of this kind would destroy me if I were in her place. I continue to pray for Kevin and for strength for his family and I know that in the end he has found peace from his many injuries and release from the coma that he had been in. My hope is that his life will be celebrated for all of the good that he achieved in his short 16 years and that everyone, parent or not, will take the time to appreciate the gift of those who are in their lives on a daily basis. I tell my children that I love them often, after today often won't be nearly enough......
Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

Life Can Turn On a Dime- Enjoy Every Minute

Some days require a healthy doses of sunshine and grace coupled with the ability to be incredibly flexible, yet stronger than steel. I know that this sounds like my vague poetry style has found its way into my essay-like prose, but I really am sitting here contemplating these thoughts at midnight on the eve of August.

Our days can contain such an incredible amount of fluctuation between highs and lows, successes and misses, sunshine and rain. "All in a day's work." The key is being flexible- being able to bend with the wind of change and to land on your feet running with a segued plan. I am that flexible, follow-the-challenge kind of person and a card-carrying member of the "make lemon-aide from sour lemons" club, so I "get" the idea of 24 distinct hours carrying the possibility of a myriad of actions, emotions, events, highs and lows.

But I have to say that today has been an incredible whirlwind- all 24 hours of it. It began in the late hours of last night discovering a missing link to my family. A chance encounter with a You-Tube video and a young woman talking about her family history. This young woman had a striking resemblance to me and she mentioned some of the predominant surnames in her family; one of which matched mine. On a whim (or maybe not, perhaps it's the social media extrovert in me), I contacted her directly and thanked her for a very informative and well-done video. I also let her know that we shared a family name, perhaps a family line. We connected on a popular social media site and then took the conversation "live" to Skype with web-cam as we discovered by comparing ancestral history charts that we are indeed cousins. The connection that we made was incredible- it felt like I had discovered a sister.

After about 5 or 6 hours of sleep, I awakened early enough to decorate the house for my son's birthday. I have a tradition of hanging streamers, balloons and specially-made personalized posters from the main doorway leading to the kitchen. I knew that I could not let that slide and have a disappointed kid on my hands. The rest of the day went very well from a work perspective and I had the opportunity to meet with a local consulting company looking to learn how social media could enhance their offerings. I felt a kindred connection with the two members of the firm and we spent an incredible two hours of discussion and story-telling. I love it when companies are on the same page about social media STRATEGY that I am.

Skipping over the rest of the details of my day and fast-forwarding to that phone call that no-one ever wants to get......My dad had been admitted to the hospital for emergency brain surgery. EMERGENCY WHAT???!!!! I had just spoken to him two days ago and he had been in great health.......

Spent the rest of the evening praying: in the car, silently in the middle of the Samurai restaurant for Cameron's birthday celebration and in the alley adjacent to the restaurant that I rushed into to take my sister's update call on my cell.

This, my friends is how a life can turn on a dime. How a day can go from Great to Bad to Hopeful. The key is to be prepared to deal with whatever comes your way. Some things will bring you joy and others will bring you sorrow. Some things will test your mettle, your stamina and your will. Hold onto the tools, the strengths that are inherently within you and forge ahead meeting all with your eyes clear, your feet firm and your back to the wind.

I pray that you never get that call and if you do, my prayer is that you have the strength within you to carry you through as well as a wonderful support of friends (you all know who you are) and family to hold your hand.

Thank you for being there for me.


Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

Do You Remember??

This is retro day. I picked up a small yellow book that has been on my bookshelf for more than a few years. The initial read gave us all some big laughs as we reminisced on things from our childhood that we had forgotten about. Perusing it today, many years later, I notice that many of the products are back on shelves. Reminds me of the literal version of the saying " What goes around, comes around." Wondering if this is a commentary on the fact that we are aging. That we have finally reached the point in our lives when these toys, products, songs etc. are being reintroduced to younger generations because they are "classic", which is really another word for just plain "old". See if any of these things spark anything in your memories:

• Daisy chains
• Black lights
• Metal lunchboxes
• Lava lamps
• Rocky Horror
• Pet Rock
• Mood Ring
• Green stamp books
• Leif Garret
• Bay City Rollers
• The DeFranco Family
• Mad Libs
• Ouija Boards
• Black & White tv sets (not talking about the console here!)
• The Marlboro man on tv
• When tv channels went off the air at night.

"Hey Mikey, he likes it!"
"Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?"
"Where's the Beef?"
"My dog is better than your dog."'

Thanks for traveling down memory lane with me to a time when there were no worries; a time when we were free to be kids. A time when w were just free to BE!
Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009