Apocalypse

 

Frozen landscape

Dark, desolate

Sun absent in the sky 

Falling ash, ashen snow......

What would you do if there was an apocalypse and you were one of the few remaining on earth? How would your faith be tested? In the movie The Road based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel of the same title by  Cormac McCarthy, a man and his son find themselves in this scenario. The man’s wife has taken her own life unable to go on under the extreme conditions that they have been living under and hoping to create more of a chance of survival for the remaining two.  The movie follows the pair on the road to reach the southern coast to find warmth and possible life. Along the way their values are tested profoundly and the boy must make a herculean choice.  

What struck me the most was looking at the breakdown of society and the construction of a new order in which people were no longer valued for their humanity. To witness the savagery that people turned to in their desperation in order to survive was shocking.  It became a crowd mentality, where people acquiesced in order not to be on the outside: the ones attacked and ultimately eaten. There was a renegade leadership running rampant that followed the mantra of survival of the fittest and if you were outside of one of these groups, you literally were running for your life.

One image that continues to haunt me is the scene involving a loaded gun: their only means of protection. In this scene the father shows his little boy how to put the pistol in his mouth and aim upwards toward his brain for a quick and painless death.  The loaded gun that the father and son kept ultimately contained only one bullet and would be the saving grace to prevent the boy from a horrific end at the hands of the cannibalistic survivors. The father knew at this point that he was dying and would not be there to protect his son in the future. Such a tragic, tragic image. But within that image, there exists unconditional love.

Another theme that ran throughout the film and touched my core was that of trust. The boy asks a stranger at one point, “Are you one of the good guys?”. In a lawless and desperate society the role of good guy can flip on a dime. We can only trust our instincts and make a decision based on the information that we have at hand.

I suppose the answer to how you would handle being in a similar situation would depend upon your faith and your views of life, death and after-life. I hope we never see an apocalypse in a million lifetimes from now, but if we did, I know what I would do. 

Do you?

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011-2012

Life Is What You Make Of It

Dreamer, Believer, Passionate, Extrovert, Unconventional, Eclectic, Empathetic, Analytical, Gifted, Intelligent 

When I think about who I am deep inside, these are the words that come to mind. They are words that many people have used to describe me. I love people- I love knowing their stories and I love connecting with their souls. If I can touch just one person in my day, then I label it a success.  My greatest joy is to see someone achieve and to help them reach their goals.

I feel that I have led a highly successful life: wonderful career with Procter & Gamble, many community leadership positions, international travel,  published work including a book on social media and the launching of my own company, C3: Creating Connections Consulting, LLC. Despite all of the professional accomplishments, my greatest achievement is raising two wonderful children who are both amazingly intelligent and gifted and who will go on to change the world. 

Tomorrow marks my 24th wedding anniversary, and in today's world, that is probably a huge accomplishment as well. To me it seems like yesterday.  A friend on Facebook commented to my status update about the anniversary with a question:

"You and Glenn are both wonderful people. We've been blessed to have met you both. You are a great couple. I'm sure you have some words of wisdom in how to make it last for 24 years. Any you care to share? Or is it like hiring employees - try to pick the right one the first time?" 

I took some time to reflect on this question.  I think the biggest piece of advice would be to really know who you are marrying; in other words, spend some time deeply getting to know what their core values are and if they align with yours.  The person should truly be your best friend and communication should flow freely and often between you. I think you need to be partners and equals in the relationship sharing everything from duties to dollars, while still maintaining your own identity.  There will be tough times and changes along the way, but it is how you handle these circumstances that make all of the difference.

So 24 years have flown by and it truly feels like just yesterday that we were dancing at our wedding. And if I close my eyes and press the knob on my jewelry box, I can hear our song play and see us beautifully executing the dance steps we learned at Arthur Murray. Two Procter managers with MBAs and a dream.....

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011-2012

My Heart & Soul

"We could have had it all

You had my heart and soul……"

Love these heart-felt lyrics by Adele.

Makes me wonder what the story is behind her words. When I reflect upon them it makes me think back to my life, especially as I enter the second half of the journey. I have written many, many times about my belief in destiny and the idea that things/events/people happen for a reason. Yes, I believe in free will extending a hand and altering the plan that has been pre-designed, but the path has been carved out long ago.

I believe that I exist today as a sum of my experiences, my joys, my disappointments and the many loves and friendships that have touched my life. Would I ever say to the one who would have been, “We could have had it all...”  Nope. Because that path would have led to a person who is other than me today. If there is one thing that I do perhaps suffer from, it is too much self esteem. I love who I am, how I’ve lived and the choices that I have made. There is nothing that was within my control that I would have changed.   

Now about that situation that was out of my hands……

“But you played it,
You played it,
You played it,
You played it to the beat…”.

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011

Two Roads Diverged.....

You "get" me
Very few people do
Complex thought processes coupled with a
Dichotomous outlook
Result in a conundrum that few understand

Glad our friendship has endured decades 
And come full circle

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011

Sunset in Key West

And so the dance begins

You quench my thirst and I enlighten your lost possibilities

A bit of antique art glass and a pair of Steve Maddens

Purple haze of Karma reconfirms our destiny

You purely slay me with your humor

and touch my core with your concern

Not going to lose you again....

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011

Solstice Encounter

Came upon a piece of me that has been buried

That’s why it feels like a story, like a slice of someone else’s life

I know the pain is there because I can only read so much

Of the long ago journal before having to close the well-worn cover

It’s a story that is buried so deep

That it feels like I’m reading a novel or a bio of another’s life

*****************************************

Young, intense, competitive love

Forming each of us into adulthood

Soul click

Heart break-  no…..

 heart-shredding

Living a façade for the masses

Led to an end to us as you left for self-discovery

Escaping the conservative confines of our city

Searching for a progressive place that would allow you

To explore the stirrings in your own soul

A chance to answer the question that had been pulling at you

Like demons in the night

Buried pain, picking up the shattered pieces

Wondering if I could go on without you

Intelligent, Motivated, Driven,

Intensely Competitive, Sophisticated, Narcissistic-

You were my male twin and even our hearts beat in sync

Later, as with all deep heart-wrenching pain,

I went on with my life

Using yours as the yard stick

by which all future relationships were measured

Years rolled by and became decades

I found you once again within the pages of

A college photo album

Pictures curling as the adhesive aged

Hand-in-hand together at Coney’s Moonlight Gardens,

Nominated for Homecoming King & Queen

An irony like no other….

Searched for you online only to be met with resounding silence

You were nowhere to be found

And I feared that you no longer walked the earth

How unbelievable when the universe shifted recently and a

Tear in the cosmos allowed me to find you again

So many years have passed, yet it feels like yesterday

Only different…..

“What an unexpected gift and blessing from the universe….remember, after all these years, we have plenty of time! Love ya, Michelle.”    ~Todd

And yes, Todd. Time is the one thing we do have……

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011

Driving My Passion With Virtual Grenades

I'd catch a grenade for love
Throw my hand on a blade for love
I'd jump in front of a train for love
You know I'd do anything for love
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you....

Bruno Mars sings these heartfelt lyrics in his fast rhythm song, Grenade. I love the beat; it has a pulsing tempo that just begs to pull your body into movement. However, if you listen closely, the lyrics will break your heart. When I take in his words, they makes me wonder about the things in my life that I would ascribe these same intense sentiments.

What are the passions that drive me to succeed and for which I would lay down everything. For me the number one answer would be relationships. I value the connections that I have with people. I am a deep, analytical soul and when I meet someone, I want to know everything about them.

Secondly I am passionate about self-actualization. I aspire to be the best possible version of me that can exist at this time and in this space. I love to make a difference in people's lives that will help them achieve their goals.

Lastly, I am passionate about leaving a legacy. I want to leave this earth having created pieces of myself that are left to lodge and grow and influence future generations. I don't want to disappear into the ether, but to have some tangible proof that I walked this earth and left it in a better state of being somehow.

So what do my ramblings have to do with unrequited love as it is described in Bruno's song. Well not much, but words and lyrics inspire me and cause me to reach deeper into my own psyche for parallel meanings.

What things in your life would you take a virtual grenade for?





Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2011

Lost Love

Sinking deep into the cushions
Losing myself to the music
and the candles and the pungent smell
of incense in the dimly lit room
Three minutes
That is all that we are given
to enter into a meditative state
The instructor tells us to focus
on the face of God I try, I really do,
but All I see is you
Every detail of your face is chiseled
into my mind
I gaze into your eyes and see
your lips curl into a smile
My mind wanders to one
of our many conversations
I feel warm to the depths of my soul
I feel at peace, my heart is happy
I want to reach out and touch your face
To make you real once again
The bell rings, the three minutes are up
You are gone like a stream of smoke
evaporating into the night
Perhaps I will find you again in my dreams.....



Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

YOU + ME = COMMUNITY (FOREVER)

"Want you to know that I will forever feel this way. I believe in you." - lyrics from Drew LaPlante.





Wow, Drew's music always speaks to my heart. Drew is a true poet and his lyrics are evidence of his incredible talent. I love the haunting sound of his voice on this track, guided solely by his guitar. Listening to this song took me to a completely different blog post session from what I had originally planned. I am literally feeling myself drift into an altered state of consciousness in which memories are taking me back further and further from this actual moment in time. Love the way music can bring you back to another place.

The statements that "I will forever feel this way" and "I believe in you" are two that I have spoken several times in my life. As mentioned in a previous blog post, when I connect with people, I do it with my entire being, giving my full attention, in fact giving everything I have to give. The relationship that occurs lasts a life-time because we have made an impact on each others' lives. I am blessed to have so many incredible people populating my life and I'm incredibly blessed with the intuitive nature and caring spirit that guides those initial connections. I believe in the power of love and friendship and the growth that comes from people coming together in community.

I believe in you............



Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

TRUE LOVE

True Love. We hear this term all the time, but what actually is it? As my pre-teen daughter relays all of the school crush news and who is "dating" whom (can it really be dating if they don't even talk to each other on the playground, but instead lurk through very vague text messages????), it makes me recall all of my past relationships. I think we can all remember that special high school significant other whom we thought at some point we would marry, perhaps penciling his name entwined with ours in a series of hearts all over our Algebra II book cover. There have been many loves in my life in high school and college and of course some major infatuations (which must have been so high on the infatuation scale, that I knew even back then that it was not love). Don't worry you will remain nameless to the world!

But have you ever experienced a time when you let your true love go, knowing that it was the right thing for them while maybe not for yourself? Cameron and I went to see Will Smith's Hancock movie today- yes I know it came out last summer, but we found it at the $1 movies- hmmmn, well now its the $3 movie, but anyway , I digress. In the movie, we see an immortal love, in which in order to live, the two lovers must sacrifice self in order for the other to exist.

How excruciating it is to let the love of your life (up to that point any way) go because that is what is best for him or for the situation. What courage it takes to do what John Hancock did at the end of the movie: to leap off the top of a building hoping that he would be destroyed or at the very least be carried away so that Angel (Mary) could live. She lay dying on the hospital gurney, her heart flat-lining, the electric paddles slapping her lifeless body off the table until.......... Until his ultimate sacrifice.

The novel that I have been working on deals with a number of issues, but the underlying theme that unites them all, is the notion of true love and sacrifice. Here's something that I included as a journal entry for one of my main characters:

An Invitation to Join the Dance

Take my hand and place it in yours

Intertwine our fingers so that I can hold onto you

Forever

Close your eyes and listen to me very carefully

You are very, very precious to me

You are my heart and my soul and my everything

I want to spend the rest of my life with you

I want to wake up every day and go to sleep every night

Having witnessed your smiling face, your laughing eyes

I want to make you my wife

The queen of my life; the holder of all that is good in the world

I want to be with you forever

I want “yes” to be the sweetest word that I will ever hear

I love you.

Here's to all those courageous people in the world who have walked away from the love of their lives. I hope you found another love, another situation, a new heart.

PEACE