FALLING FAST

“I’m falling… say it if it’s worth saving me…And all I need is you….” Nickleback

And so the dance begins again

The lyrics stream through my ears taking me back to yesterday

While my mind takes me back to last night’s conversation

Somehow they are one and the same

This pattern repeats over and over and over

That gossamer tentacle so oft written about

Truly does exist

We are tied together for eternity by a bond

That no one else will ever understand

You know me completely: the good, the bad, the narcissistic

You are the mirror to my soul

And when I need to be reminded, you are there

To peel back the layers, until I stand in the

Full authenticity that only you and I know

And in turn I view you through clear lenses

Am I the only one to know that you are spiraling downward?

Choosing a different method this time to dull the pain in your being

I heard you whisper the words “this is complicated”

And damn it, you are right

You, my friend, are slowly killing yourself

Is this another test of how far I can go to save a soul?

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2010

LITTLE RED SCARS

"Lost & Insecure, You Found Me.....
In the end everyone ends up alone...."

You Found Me- The Fray


Your mantra, only you didn't know it...
I found you lying there hating life
Cutting pain from your soul by slashing your flesh
I reached out my hand and pulled you back to being
Rebuilt your confidence while my life slowly ripped apart
The scales tipped unevenly until I was almost lost,
While your wounds healed and left little red scars
where the blade had sliced

What is the cost of saving a life?
I know the answer to that question
It is the sum of losing your own......

Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009

DEATH: AN ANSWER TO LIVING??

How incredibly sad that a young man would take his own life yesterday at Eden Park. It was one of the most beautiful, un-August-like days this City has seen, just brimming with color and vibrancy. What kind of torment was he going through that would drive him to this place? How does a human being get to the point where they feel that death is the only answer to the pain of living? And what about the people in his life: family, co-workers, friends- was there no-one for him to turn to in his despair? Here is the short Cincinnati Enquirer blurb:

Overpass Jumper Identified

By Jennifer Baker • jbaker@enquirer.com • August 13, 2008

WALNUT HILLS - The man who died Tuesday after jumping from the Eden Park overpass over Kemper Lane committed suicide, Cincinnati police said today.

The man was identified today as Jeremy C. Dilbert, 30, of Greenhills. He was pronounced dead at University Hospital.

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Three years ago, I was in the position to help someone who was contemplating suicide and had already made several attempts. I had just met him and really didn't know any of his background; only that he was in deep despair and had taken up Cutting, a type of self-injury, to assuage the pain in his life. I listened for hours and let him pour out some of the turmoil that was going on his life and encouraged him to talk to his family and get professional help. He eventually did do that, was under a therapist's care, and over time was able to slay some of the mental dragons that had been torturing him. Today, he is a much stronger and self-confident individual and truly living a happy and productive life.

Often times, we have the natural tendency to not want to get involved, especially in regard to people that we don't know. Sometimes, it is in the act of reaching out a hand, that grace is born and we are really able to make a true difference in a life, in a family, in the world.