Random thoughts and musings on what is going on in my corner of the world mixed with some of my creative work.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
TRUE LOVE
True Love. We hear this term all the time, but what actually is it? As my pre-teen daughter relays all of the school crush news and who is "dating" whom (can it really be dating if they don't even talk to each other on the playground, but instead lurk through very vague text messages????), it makes me recall all of my past relationships. I think we can all remember that special high school significant other whom we thought at some point we would marry, perhaps penciling his name entwined with ours in a series of hearts all over our Algebra II book cover. There have been many loves in my life in high school and college and of course some major infatuations (which must have been so high on the infatuation scale, that I knew even back then that it was not love). Don't worry you will remain nameless to the world!
But have you ever experienced a time when you let your true love go, knowing that it was the right thing for them while maybe not for yourself? Cameron and I went to see Will Smith's Hancock movie today- yes I know it came out last summer, but we found it at the $1 movies- hmmmn, well now its the $3 movie, but anyway , I digress. In the movie, we see an immortal love, in which in order to live, the two lovers must sacrifice self in order for the other to exist.
How excruciating it is to let the love of your life (up to that point any way) go because that is what is best for him or for the situation. What courage it takes to do what John Hancock did at the end of the movie: to leap off the top of a building hoping that he would be destroyed or at the very least be carried away so that Angel (Mary) could live. She lay dying on the hospital gurney, her heart flat-lining, the electric paddles slapping her lifeless body off the table until.......... Until his ultimate sacrifice.
The novel that I have been working on deals with a number of issues, but the underlying theme that unites them all, is the notion of true love and sacrifice. Here's something that I included as a journal entry for one of my main characters:
An Invitation to Join the Dance
Take my hand and place it in yours
Intertwine our fingers so that I can hold onto you
Forever
Close your eyes and listen to me very carefully
You are very, very precious to me
You are my heart and my soul and my everything
I want to spend the rest of my life with you
I want to wake up every day and go to sleep every night
Having witnessed your smiling face, your laughing eyes
I want to make you my wife
The queen of my life; the holder of all that is good in the world
I want to be with you forever
I want “yes” to be the sweetest word that I will ever hear
I love you.
Here's to all those courageous people in the world who have walked away from the love of their lives. I hope you found another love, another situation, a new heart.
PEACE
Friday, September 26, 2008
CAMERON MAKES ST. XAVIER MOCK TRIAL TEAM
Thursday, September 25, 2008
MICHELLE: RE-WRITTEN
My writing friends, Shelly, Sandi and Laurie (ya know, I just noticed that they all have the 'ee' sound at the end of their names-- wow I feel so......different- lol!). Anyway, my three friends noticed yesterday in our writing circle, that I have some type of change THEME going on in my life. Nearly every page that I had created and shared included something about change and transformation. Perhaps you have seen it here within the pages of my BLOG. I just feel some type of huge change is being called forth from within my soul.
I have had some recent significant changes with people and situations in my life, which I am totally fine with. What I am sensing however, is something bigger; something that is life-altering. I think I was trying to capture that whispering voice in my ears in the piece I submitted yesterday: Reclaiming Me While Taking A Stand. Somehow, the words to the song Raise It Up by the IMPACT Repertory Theater from the movie August Rush keep following me wherever I go.
Here are some of the lyrics:
Life falls down on me, cuts into my soul
but I know I got the strength to make it through it all
cause I'm still standin' tall
breaking through this wall I'm gonna give my all
Feelin' like a motherless child, hate cuts into my soul
its bringing me down
can't find my smile on a face of a motherless child
I'm gonna break down these walls gonna give it my all
Sometimes it takes a different kind of love to raise a child
(so don't give up) so don't give up
Lyrics | Jamia Simone Nash and Impact Repertory Theater - Raise It Up lyrics
I think the whole political landscape is also affecting me. Obama and Palin are close enough to my age to be called part of my generation and I feel like this is my time to spark some type of major action in my life. Hold on, because I feel the winds of change blowing down my spine. The next chapter is to be re-written!..................................
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
RECLAIMING ME WHILE TAKING A STAND
A voice is calling me from afar
A muted voice, muffled by the fog of distance
Calling me home
Calling me back
Calling me to reclaim my soul
Its time to move forward
To take a stand
To take those gifts of nurture, guidance and firm hand
To cast a wider net
Letting those qualities of leadership and organization
Be used for a greater good
In order to touch many more people
People in need of inspiration
The whispers begin in a soft hush
And with each question, the tone and volume increase
Exponentially until by the last, there is a cacophony in my head
Begging for action to stop the pain
These are the questions
That now creep through the shroud of fog,
Entering my brain like tiny carpenter ants
Drilling into my subconscious mind:
What do you stand for?
What do you believe in?
What is of importance outside your immediate family?
What will you fight for?
What will you die for?
What is the ultimate sacrifice?
Until one can answer these questions
They will remain stuck in a sludge of indecision
Letting their minds follow the shallow breath of the wind
Like swiveling heads at a tennis tournament
Monday, September 22, 2008
TIME IN A BOTTLE
Old activities have resumed,
Body rhythms are back on track
Memories are beginning to fade
Time truly heals all wounds
(Good-bye forever to the unnamed.)
Friday, September 19, 2008
BLACK OUT CONTINUES FOR 130,000 CINCINNATIANS
Ok, this is Day 6 of the after-effects of Hurricane Ike and as of this morning there were still 100,000+ area residents without power. People's nerves are no longer even hanging on by a thread- they are purely non-existent. Good Samaritans have popped up everywhere though: cooking meals, providing bags of ice and bottled water- even lending their available washers and dryers. Yesterday, I passed a large piece of wood painted white with big red letters reading: “Without power? Come on in for free hot dogs, chips and drinks." Someone had fired up a couple of grills and was making some very frazzled families very happy.
Everyone is thankful that Cincinnati was spared the devastation that Galveston and the Gulf area experienced, but the seemingly cavalier return of power in a very disparate way (blame those nasty grids) and Duke's Tuesday night PR snafu in which they claimed power would be restored to 85% of the city by the end of Wednesday (which, oh by the way obviously didn't happen) certainly didn't help those poor souls who are staring the beginnings of the weekend right in the face.
I have been trying to mail a package all week at my local govt. post office. The employees are inside the building working in dim light with all the windows and doors open because the electric is still out there. I can make any transaction that involves cash or weighs less than one pound, which doesn't help the baby gift that they are unable to service that is now very, very late. The kid will be walking by the time it arrives!!!!
On a slightly humorous, "what were they thinking??!!" note, one of the local stations sent out an email alert today (to those of us who could actually receive it) entitled: Blackout 2008: A Survival Guide on how to manage through this time of crisis. Why it came on Day 6 and not Day 1 or 2 is anybody's guess. Here is the blitz: MORE DETAILS:
SO THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY CORNER OF THE WORLD. THANK GOD FOR SUNSHINE!!!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Hurricane Ike Sweeps Through Cincinnati
KALEIDOSCOPE: METAPHOR FOR CHANGE
The word kaleidoscope brings back old memories of a long cylindrical tube with colored pieces of glass or pebbles at the bottom and a series of mirrors which give an infinite number of designs each time the tube is rotated. Known in ancient Greece, the kaleidoscope was reinvented by Sir David Brewster in 1817.
The kaleidoscope can actually be used as a metaphor for life: with each twist in the cosmic universe we will experience a change in the settings of our lives. We adapt and live with the change as we adjust our vision to the new pattern of life set before us.
Those fortunate few out there who know me well, know that a dichotomy exists within me. On the one hand, I am this very analytical, highly organized, very planned individual who runs a very tight ship, whose course is always set to accomplishment and success. On the other hand, I tend to dislike change. A lot. But when unexpected change happens, I deal with it in a smooth, no-bumps-showing way. I think my problem with change stems from the planned, sustained change that allows us to over-analyze and stew with what is coming up as we wait for its implementation. The reality is that the time spent fretting about change is far longer and more painful than actually going through the change itself. So my advice to self is to just hold your breath and jump in. The ride will be short and the waters smooth on the other side of change. Just do it!!
Here is a beautiful quote that speaks to kaleidoscope as change:
"Our days are a kaleidoscope. Every instant a change takes place in the contents. New harmonies, new contrasts, new combinations of every sort. Nothing ever happens twice alike. The most familiar people stand each moment in some new relation to each other, to their work, to surrounding objects. The most tranquil house, with the most serene inhabitants, living upon the utmost regularity of system, is yet exemplifying infinite diversities."
-Henry Ward Beecher
US abolitionist & clergyman (1813 - 1887)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
September 11th, 2001: A Day We Will Never Forget
This is something that I wrote shortly after the horrible attack on the United States on 9/11/01. It is kind of rough, but I believe that it's raggedness conveys the feelings of shock and terror that I (along with the entire country) was feeling that day. Here it is completely unedited:
THE DAY THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
Urgent male voice penetrating the retreating words of sarcastic Dr. Laura
I turn up my radio volume
Has she been dethroned? Will I have to discover lively talk-show banter from another source to fill my ears as I go about the business of life?
No, the voices are talking in rapid shot-gun burst words
I reach for my television remote. The local news jockeys and the emergency broadcast system won't fail me. If anything is going on, it will be there, floating like an errant banner on the bottom of my t.v. screen.
Didn't Pete Delkus (local t.v. metorologist) warn me street by street in living technicolor just where and when the Tornado of '99 was going to hit?
I WAS PREPARED.
Doomsayers predicted the shutdown of all computer-operated systems due to the Y2K switchover.
Gallons of water were stored in my basement just in case the toilet failed to flush or
the refrigerator refused to unleash the cold water and ice we were accustomed to at the touch of a button.
I WAS PREPARED.
9:20 a.m. September 11th, 2001: a day in which
I WAS NOT PREPARED!
Tragic words and images pour forth into my home
My ears ring with the cries and screams of New Yorkers
Channel-hopping to discover more:
CNN, MSNBC, MATT DRUDGE, Internet News Sites
Information filled my brain, piercing it like tiny drops of water in a Japanese torture chamber.
No more. I can't stand to absorb any more ALONE.
I reach out to family members via my cell- the regular phone lines are jammed across the nation.
I reach out to neighbors.
I meet them walking zombie-like in the street, scanning the skies.
We hold each other; eyes filled with tears of disbelief.
I worry about my children: are they safe, should I go get them from school?
What do I tell them?
The Pentagon- my father's work place: Unreachable. No cell number in my Palm V.
Pittsburgh: my husband's meeting site. Reachable, Safe. Thank God for his cell phone.
WHAT HAPPENED?!!?? Questions fill my brain like a cacophony of birds in an Alfred Hitchcock black & white.
Who are these people so filled with hate?
How could we (I) be so blind to their darkness?
Had I become too complacent in my Christian, Tide-laundered, mini-van driving, soccer-mom world?
Abject fear of the unknown filled my life.
Absence of planes in the air above and then their re-emergence brought quick fearful looks to the heavens.
What would/could drop from the skies next?
Feelings of being swept up in a child's game of "Doggie, Doggie Where Is Your Nuclear Weapon" consume me.
Dirty Bombs, Car Bombs, Tennis Shoe Bombs.
Bomb, bombs all around.
The media sucks me in like a huge vacuum cleaner. I become a 24/7 news junkie. In the days following, I relay the latest reports to my fellow bus-stop parents each morning at 7:25 a.m.
Obsession clouds my mind, my being.
I SURVIVE on five hours of sleep a night.
I change my habits, cancel play dates; cut back on volunteer activities; hold my children closer to home
And Matt Drudge (Drudge Report) becomes my constant 1:00 a.m.companion always with the latest breaking news.......
Finally I am saved by the words of my Defence Contractor (retired military) father:
"You have to go on living, because giving up due to fear is letting the enemy inside, creating a victory for terrorism."
Slowly I return to a life of near-normalcy.
But will life ever be truly normal again????????
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
HAPPINESS IS:
Friday, September 5, 2008
The Kingdom is Alive & Well in Saudi Arabia
"Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah will lay the foundation stone of the new campus of Kingdom’s first women university shortly, Princess Al-Jowhara bint Fahd, president of the university, announced yesterday. Located north of Riyadh, the university will have 13 new colleges.
She praised King Abdullah and Crown Prince Sultan for their tremendous support to Riyadh Women's University, which, she said, will usher in a new era in higher education for women in Saudi Arabia. “We want to make it a leading international university,” Princess Al-Jowhara told Al-Riyadh Arabic daily."
"Veiled to all men beyond her family, a young Bedouin woman wears the classic face covering of her people. Given only passing mention by the Koran, Islam’s holy book, the veil is an ancient custom traced to India and Persia; it was adopted by Arabia’s nomadic tribes, which enforced a strict code of female modesty. "
—From “Women of Saudi Arabia,” October 1987, National Geographic magazine
Learning about other cultures is fascinating, but discussing issues that affect humankind no matter which side of the world we are standing on is even more empowering. I will leave you with a quote my Saudi friend stands by:
"War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left............"
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Sarah Palin: Awash in Controversy
MS. PALIN'S INTRODUCTION:
A Strong Convention Speech alone can't answer the questions about her readiness
"Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's acceptance speech at the convention last night was an impressive debut on the national stage -- well-delivered, with an appealing combination of charm and bite befitting her description of a hockey mom as a pit bull in lipstick."
The editorial goes on to say that despite receiving high marks for her speech, one must still question her ability to become a heart-beat away from Commander in Chief, especially given her " astonishingly thin resume: --mayor of a small town; governor of a sparsley populated state for less than two years -- hoping to ascend to national leadership. The country will need to hear more from Ms. Palin before being convinced of the soundness of Mr. McCain's judgement."
Check out the link above for the full text of the editorial and the reader comments that followed. As I mentioned last night, I was blown away by her speech. Whether she has experiential substance to back up her vim and vigor remains to be seen. And as for the controversies regarding her private life, let the games begin. What did you think of her speech????
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
UPDATES ON PREVIOUS POSTS
I am watching the Republican National Convention, which is currently on mute btw (Guilliani is speaking) and got to thinking that I should probably revisit some earlier posts to see where I stand today. Starting with the beginning of August, here goes:
What Used to Be....(Artichokes)- Actually no update on this very personal piece of writing other than the fact that everytime I re-read it I think: 'man did I really write that and post it on the internet??!!??'. Kinda sorta shatters my usual privacy stance.
Soundtrack of my summer- I have quickly realized that I can't have multiple playlists in my Project Playlist Account, so therefore my original summer hotties have been eliminated. They were Thunder by Boys Like Girls, All Summer Long by Kid Rock, and Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. I've moved on to loving the August Rush Soundtrack, especially the song Raise It Up.
************************tv news interruption**************************
wow----I expected to dislike Sarah Palin, but she is an incredible speaker full of humor, poise, connection with every man/woman and intelligence. Uh oh................ So you can see that the mute button came off.
Do You Skype? Well that could be a book in and of itself. Luckily I got into Skype before they killed the public Skype Casts on 9/1/08 which were a wonderful way to discuss topics of interest via voice with a group of people looking for debate and conversation. I have made new friends from all over the world and have collected quite a few fascinating life stories that I'm sure will make their way into future writing pieces.
Inspiration in the Shack?
I actually had to stop reading this for several weeks as the portrayal of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit just rocked my paradigms too much. I consider myself a person open to new ideas and interpretations, but God portrayed as a large African-American Woman named 'Poppa' just really bugged me for some reason. I am forcing myself to continue to see just where this all leads.
Tween Girls & Cell Phones: I caved and got the 7th grader 500 msg texting/month (+free texts from Verizon to Verizon). It was strongly suggested by other parents in the know that I just fork over the unlimited texting- they cited their own daughter's all time high texting rate of 14,000 in one month. That's right folks 14k!
Loved the quotes from August on Compulsive Liars (which I detest more than anything on this earth) and Richard Bach's statement about people that we love always being close by in our hearts despite any type of distance.
The other posts are too recent to have a current update now.
American Samoa- the only US soil in the southern hemisphere- just cast their 9 votes for John McCain. Hmmn I didn't know we had an American Samoan state.
Ok time to end the hoopla. It should be an interesting presidential election!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Labor Day: The Official Doorway to Another Dimension
Hopefully the rest of the U.S. took some time to honor those who labor. This weekend, we honored a great group of 7th grade girls as they labored on the basketball courts for a 2nd place finish.