Ever have goosebumps emerge on your arms and feel a prickly sensation cross the surface of your skin??? Well I have had two encounters this weekend with that very same feeling and the gloomy day just adds to the funkyness of it all. My first experience was yesterday evening, while I was out shopping. The muzak that was playing in the store hit a string of consecutive songs that held a lot of meaning for me. By the fourth song, I was beginning to think that someone was seriously trying to get some type of clairvoyant message to me! I don't know if I am unusual or not, but music holds a lot of meaning for me. Somehow my brain ties it to feelings, events, people that I am experiencing while the song is playing. Music always takes me back to that place- so imagine being barraged with multiple songs pointing to a particular time/person in my life.
My second prickly event involved spending time at a Nursing Home today. I had a long conversation with a female resident who is 90 years old and remembers taking her very young children to Aglamesis Brothers for Ice Cream in Oakley (founded in 1908). She was very articulate and talked about growing up in Deer Park and all of the major events of her life. Her eyesight was failing her, but her hearing was great and she could get around with the use of a walker. We met in the hallway on her return from Bingo. She held out her hand to show me the palm full of shiny silver quarters she had won. She was proud of this, as she said that all of her financials were taken care of by her family. She likes to keep change for the kids who annually make a pilgrimage to the center on Halloween night.
Where do the goosebumps come in? Well, they reappeared when she looked into my eyes and told me in a loud whisper that she prays to God every night to take her from this earth. She stated that there is nothing left to live for, save Bingo and that she is ready to go and give her life to someone else. I'm not quite sure if she meant that literally as in organ donation, or if she meant it in some karma/energy of the world kind of way, but I found myself, for once, not knowing what to say.
I looked around the place and took in that "hospital" smell that places like these have and wondered what it would be like to be one of the last ones left. To have children that have gone before you and friends one by one leaving this world. To be the bastion of your generation.
I leave you with some words to really take in and digest from one of my fave bands: Nickelback
"If Today Was Your Last Day:"
Copyright Michelle Beckham-Corbin 2009
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